Small talk

Do you like small talk? I like it for some situations when I want to keep someone at a distance and not really reveal anything about myself.

But I hate it among good friends and church family.

I completely understand why we do it with a stranger on the airplane or with our boss or someone we just met 2 minutes ago. Safe subjects like the weather, football teams, shopping bargains, and such are good conversations for those relationships. They keep the distance “safe”.

But with our church family?  I’m so tired of having conversations with my sisters in Christ that are truly meaningless in the realm of eternity.

Let’s talk about important and real things. Let’s get beyond the surface, and truly get to know our church family. Let’s talk about things of real importance and encourage one another, and talk about our real issues in life.

Here’s some conversation starters if, like me, you’re challenged in this area.

  • Where have you seen the Lord at work lately?
  • What’s the Lord been teaching you recently?
  • Have you had any obvious answers to prayer recently?
  • What have you been reading? How has it impressed you?
  • Where in the Bible have you been reading lately? What impact has it had on you?
  • How can I pray for you?


Don’t you actually long for people to know you? To truly know you and love you and care about what’s going on in your life? I do. But small talk will never get us to that level of relationship.

So, next time I see you, please don’t talk to me about the weather. Unless I don’t know you – then the weather will be just fine to discuss.

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